Getting Fresh Drive

So my new years resolution was to meet as many people as possible, instead of dating one person at a time and finding out it is a waste of time, I got it into my head that if I met bunches of people simultaneously then I would be able to weed out the undesirables and discover a gem.

Although I had always been too shy to take this route, I finally was convinced by a friend and three cocktails to put an add up on Craig list. I was completely terrified at the thought of meeting someone this way, having convinced myself that this was for a person who I didn’t consider myself to be. So, as you know, I always complete my new years resolution and since this was on my list I decided to get it done! I put a rather silly description of myself along with a picture one night after joining my friend at a bar and went to sleep. The next day I awoke to many an interesting response.

Mostly the messages were from individuals, though I received invitations from couples, with pictures that were both clothed and unclothed. My favorite request was from a female soldier in Iraq who asked that I entertain her boyfriend for his birthday since she was away and we shared similar interests. If it were appropriate, I would totally post some of the insane photos I received. We all must embrace our inner freak, though some people have no shame, it seems. And thus it took a while to search through the rubble, but slowly and carefully, I managed to do so.

Once I got the responses I was clueless as to the protocol. I was also honestly embarrassed and told a few friends of my action, and they were all shocked that I had actually done it. Now, I am completely at ease, having spent eight weeks processing emails and experiences ☺

My CL first date was with a pre-med student who I thought would be really interesting because he is musician and has traveled the world. Before he picked me up from campus, he told me he was remodeling his car and that he had put a new engine in it. When I saw this grey skeleton of an automobile, it was a task not to water my eyes in laughter. He had put a race car engine in a Honda hatch back (Dude, I know nothing of car terminology, though he spent three hours torturing me with descriptions of cars and obscure Asian films. I thought I was going to have a spasm from all the robotic head nodding while I pretended to be interested, though he was pretty to nod at.) After our trip to Santa Monica, he dropped me off at my complex. This was fine enough, though where I live there is a security gate and the condominium staff workers are anal Condo-law abiders. We sat in his bucket, and I was surprised that the car walls were attached to the roof, it reminded me of the daladala’s (truck-buses) in Tanzania which were piled high with commodities and I always feared that the wooden panel walls would collapse under the pressure. Anyway, we sat there listening to Japanese hip hop and other global tunes, in his naturally equipped concert quality sound system, which caused the security guard to tell him to turn it down multiple times. He refused to turn down his music, saying he had no mercy for those who disapproved of his music. After 20 minutes we said our handshake goodbyes and although I haven’t been on a date with him since, the security guard has given me the evil eye for seven weeks.

Mainly, I am thankful to get rides home, as it is a fabulous break from the Green Bus. However, the more men who pick me up or drop me off, the stranger are the looks I receive from the security people. Today I was backed up from not going out yesterday and had two dates. The first one was a speed date, a friend picked me up, drove me to the movies and then dropped me off. 30 minutes later a different guy picked me up and dropped me off 5 hours later, and it was the same worker there giving me the evil eye. I know they must be wondering why an overwhelming majority of my ride givers are male. Or maybe they don’t notice, and I’m just tripping.

The problem with getting rides home is when I actually get home, I’m never sure of the procedure for exiting the vehicle. Do I give the person a handshake, a hug or a kiss? If they are of Latin American cultural familiarity then kisses on the cheek are normal, though in leaning in to place the exit kiss on a cheek, lips often misplace themselves and send wrong signals. This happens when not turned completely, and being in the car makes it that much more difficult because you have to lean in closely to give a friendly kiss which may be misconstrued as a Freedom kiss ☺ This actually happened to me one time when getting dropped off by a female friend in Bahia, which was embarrassing because I wasn’t actually trying to kiss her on the mouth but I didn’t turn far enough. There was this one date I had recently where the person leaned in to give me what I thought was a kiss on the cheek but I think it was supposed to be on the lips and by the time I realized this it was already ruined. I mean, you might not know this about me, but kissing is my absolute favorite pastime. When I was a kid I always loved going to Great America. But who needs rides when you can make out? It’s so much better than a roller coaster and it almost always involves no lines. You know, if I only had two years to live, I would travel the world making out with as many people as possible ☺

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The most common question I get on the first date is, “So since you study African Studies, does that mean you date mostly black men? This was asked to me by the pre-med student I mentioned, who happened to be Jamaican and a pathologist. To which I replied, “As a pathologist, do you only date corpses?” I will admit that I am not attracted to anyone who looks too much like me, no blondes or redheads. I mean, there are too many missing relatives out there to be sure, you’re not going to have me on Jerry Springer talking about I married my cousin…