Mermaidens of Slutbucks

Do you think merwomen should cover their breasts or is it suitable for these mythical mavens to parade around with their boobies swimming in the wind? Well dear, according to an unnamed Christian group from San Diego the naked mermaid prostitute (excuse me guys, don’t you know they are called transactional sex workers now?) on the cups at Starbucks has turned this international coffee imperialist into Slutbucks. Or so they say. Apparently the appearance of a 15th century two-tailed siren has caused some alarm and even drove a Washington principal to require his teachers to cover up their bare-breasted coffee cups.

Make no mistake about it, Starbucks did not invent merpeople. They appeared first in Assyrian mythology as far back as 1000 B.C, though the current Starbucks emblem is based on the siren from Greek Mythology. But this little Christian group from SD doesn’t have time to worry about history. All they know is that this long haired aqua enchantress is destroying family values. In fact, the current image is less revealing than the original one, the present motif now covering up the merwoman’s nipples. Starbucks said they might only run the new logo for a few weeks. If they are thinking of dropping the merphoto because of these whackos I say to Starbucks, don’t be such a pussy! How dare you give in to the merphobes!

My only complaint is: what’s with the sexism? Why is there no merman on these Starbuck cups? I mean, come on now, what happened to sexual equality. Men are merfolk too. Well, at the very least, if you’re going to call Starbucks out, why waste your time with a two-tailed myth? Question their fair-trade policies, labor relations, environmental impact and US imperialism. But please, do not hate on the merpeople.

After all, what’s a mergirl to do?






(These facts were taken from the Minnesota Star Tribune , Wikepedia y mi cabeza)